Week 23 wrap up

While they are late, day 150 measurements happened this week. In the past month, I lost 7.25 inches around my body (I measure each bicep, waist, hips and each thigh). That makes a total inch loss so far of 29.75 inches around my body. It feels nice to be able to have physical numbers change.

Weigh-in: I didn't weigh in this week. Sickness struck and I've been in bed this week, except for classes and training (which I shouldn't have done...live and learn). I feel pretty disgusting and swollen so I don't think a weigh in would be accurate anyway. I'll weigh in next week.

I was supposed to go to a hot yoga class on Thursday. That didn't happen, due to illness. A friend and I are planning on going to another one next week, though. I'm interested in experiencing it. Honestly, doing yoga in a 90 degree room doesn't sound very fun. But I won't judge until I try it. For all I know, it may feel amazing :) we will see.

I hate medication. I don't like putting chemical prescriptions in my body and I avoid the doctor as much as possible. I met a new doctor friend last week. When I got sick, she told me what to do to help cure the sickness...with an old remedy. One chopped onion, 4 tbsp raw honey and the juice of 1-2 lemons. Mix it all together and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours. Then, every half hour or hour, take 1 teaspoon of the juice. It doesn't taste all the great, but the difference in the way I feel between yesterday and today is measurable. The different all-natural ingredients each have a benefit to the body to help flush and detox the impurities out of the body to help regain health. Again, I won't get into my opinions on medications and the healthcare industry here (maybe I will someday). So that's all I will say about that. 

Classes started this week. They're all pretty basic, but I'm excited to take them. The personal chef class will be really helpful for this new career, I think. By the end of the semester, I will have a completed business plan. And the cooking class will help to hone my skills in the kitchen. I learned my fellow classmates are a little more basic (it makes me feel like I have a big ego or talk a big game by saying that, but I'm not sure how else to put it). But it got to the point where the instructor just started to ask me what each tool and herb was...since apparently no one else in the class knew what an offset spatula was or knew that chervil is an herb. I just have to remind myself that I am not above the class. Perfecting the basics is the key to being a good chef. I'm excited to see how much progress I will make by December :)

Week 22 Wrap Up

Training has been moved to today, instead of tomorrow, so I decided to just weigh in today. I was able to get back on track from last weeks gain and am down 3.6 pounds for a total loss so far of a 55 pounds even.

Today is day 153, which means the 5 month mark just passed. I'll have to measure again to see how much inch loss there is. As of last month, I have lost almost 23 inches around my body. So, we will see :)

After the big fail of not working out, not food logging, and gaining last week, I was able to pull myself together and get back on track....kind of. The working out I got back on track. I realized I wasn't as good with the food journaling because I don't like the new journal I had to get after the other journal ran out. So I've been using a phone app to log my food for the time being until I get another food journal to write in that I will actually enjoy writing in. I know, it sounds petty. But I like a good journal and sometimes something sub par just won't cut it!

I am officially unemployed and now a culinary student. My last day of work was this past Friday and my co-workers gave an unforgettable send off :) the amount of support I felt was absolutely incredible and I really can't thank them enough. Orientation happened on Monday and classes start next week. I will have to get all the kitchen garb I didn't think about...the chefs jacket, checkered pants, hat, shoes, and knife kit. It feels all professional. Also, at the last minute, I was able to get into the final classes I needed in which I was waitlisted. So, I will be able to get my certification in December, rather than having to wait until spring. So, that's wonderful. By December, I will then have 3 different food-related certifications and will hopefully be on my way to getting the business rolling :)

I really have nothing more to say. My mind has been filled with getting ready for school and finding new part-time employment, so I haven't felt very existential this week haha

And if you know of any place hiring part-time in the downtown Cleveland area, let me know :)

Week 21 and Reasons

I was not very good this last week. We all have our moments, though. The lack of logging in my food journal continued. And, between Wednesday and Sunday, I didn't workout at all. It's funny, I really feel it now when I don't work out. By Sunday, I felt like crap. But the baking is done for the fundraiser now and I had training on Sunday, got back into my workout routine with yoga (then had to take a rest day yesterday due to a severe allergy attack), and will be training again today. I feel pretty sore...could it be because I didn't do anything for several days? Either that or J just really kicked butt on Sunday and the yoga classes added to it. Either way, I'm ok with it. The soreness feels good. It feels like I'm making progress. Oh, side note: last day of work is tomorrow :) then let the much anticipated schooling begin!

Weigh in: well, it had to happen at some point, I guess. I suppose I'm glad it took 21 weeks. I gained this week. Up 1.8 pounds. I'm pretty disappointed, but I put it on myself. It just goes to show me how important working out and food journaling is. I'll start logging my food again today and training is tonight. Gotta get back on track!!

When people find out I am on this new journey, I get asked many questions. The most asked question I get, though, is "what made you decide to start?"

My first instinct is to answer with a smart aleck response of "well, don't you see how fat I am?!" but I try to refrain from that and answer with a more poised response. However, I never really know how to answer that question.

For me, the trouble with answering this question is that there was no real defining moment. I didn't go to the doctor and get diagnosed with some obesity-related disease. I don't have weight related health problems. I didn't have someone telling me, "you need to fix ___ by exercising." I never experienced physical joint pain. I wasn't on the verge of doing something drastically self-inflicting. 

So, what made me decide to start this journey? I woke up one day and was tired of just surviving. I hadn't actually lived in years (if ever). I was tired of waking up every morning and dreading the day. I never wanted to reflect on my day or life because I didn't want to have to relive the darkness I was experiencing.  There was no monumental moment in my life that caused my decision. There's nothing I can really pinpoint that pushed me over the edge. I guess it was a bunch of little reasons that snowballed. I just woke up one day and was tired of surviving. I just wanted to live. That's all.

Who would've thought that would be enough motivation to keep me going. I have wanted to quit this journey many times, I'll be honest. I wanted to give up. I wanted to just stop SO many times in these past 4 or so months. But every time I want to give up, I think back to my days of survival and think, "I can either keep pushing myself or I can go back to that dark hole in which I was living before." I also think back to the third week of training. I paid J for more sessions and said, "Since I kind of want to quit right now, I figured I would pay for more sessions instead." His response? "there is no quitting."  And, while I haven't been perfect, I've been moving forward and trying my best (minus last week). This past week wasn't great, but that's the beauty of being human, I guess. We all will mess up at some point. But, just because this past week wasn't a good week, it doesn't mean I'm going to just give up and backtrack even more. It makes me want to work harder today and next week and the week after that.

So, back to the topic, there never was a real defining moment, but there were opportunities available that I felt I needed to take advantage of. And I can honestly tell you seizing those opportunities was the best choice I could have ever made. I regret nothing, will never regret anything, and will keep pushing myself to be better and work harder. Those moments of wanting to quit will come again, I know. But they also go away and the motivation to keep pushing myself forward will never cease. 

I started this so I can live, not just survive.

Week 20 Wrap Up and Smiles

It's hard to believe Week 20 has just finished up. No longer in the teens...6 months will come before I know it! Sometimes it feels like this journey just started a week ago, and other times it feels like its been a year already. I've been really terrible the past week with my food journal. I'm still eating the same way, I just haven't really written anything down or figured out calories (but it's all pretty similar foods, so I'm really not worried that I would be exceeding my calorie limit or anything). But writing down what I eat has honestly been the last thing on my mind this week. My replacement at work started on Monday, so I've been focused on training her during the day. Some friends started a non-profit organization and are having their first fundraiser on Saturday, to which I am doing all of the desserts for the event...so along with focusing on training the new girl during the day, my evenings have been filled with getting dinner cooked, working out, then baking....and more baking...and then some more baking. And then figuring out why the cookies didn't turn out the way they should have...then having to fix the recipe and bake some more. As much as I enjoy this, I know I will enjoy it a WHOLE lot more when I don't have a full time job to worry about. This eye twitch that I've had since last Thursday feels explainable now (add on the fact that the college is charging me double the amount of tuition they should, so I will have to leave work early one day next week to go down to the main campus and fix whatever is happening there, in order to pay my tuition by the end of next week). I'm really ready for 5:00pm on August 16th. When that clock strikes 5, my life will change forever...and for the better. I can't wait!

Anyway, weigh in: down 1.6 pounds this week, for a total loss so far of 53.2 pounds. With the tire flipping, we learned my quads are not as strong as they should be, so weight days have been focused on that this week. So, between really working the legs and yoga, I am S-O-R-E this week. I ended up taking an extra rest day yesterday because my legs just physically didn't want to move voluntarily and I felt exhausted.

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I saw a friend this week who said one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me before. It was one of those things where you go on your way and it just stays in the forefront of your mind and you end up reflecting on it for the next several days. I was with my brother and mom, about to go to lunch, when my friend comes up to me and says, "I just wanted to tell you that it makes me happy every time I see you. You just make me smile."

While my mom, brother and I were at lunch, there was a lull in conversation. My brother then said, "you know who makes me happy every time I see them?" and named someone. My mom then named someone that made her happy every time she is in contact with them. We created a list of people that made us smile by just seeing them. And that got me thinking, why? Why do certain people do that to us? Why are there certain people where, when we see them across the room, they make us smile and give us immediate joy just by being in their presence? And what is it about them that makes us feel this way?

Off the top of my head, I can think of 5 or 6 people that have this effect on me. They're all very different people with very different personalities, interests and mannerisms. I can't really think of any defining quality that they share that could be the tie as to why they make me smile when they walk in a room. But they're all special to me and they all make me feel the same way :)

Hearing those genuine and kind words come from my friend meant the absolute world to me. It made me happy that I can make her happy. And it makes me want to make others happy, too. So, I think that will be my "challenge" for this week. I think I'm going to tell those who make me smile...just that. I want to pay the happiness and kindness forward in hopes others will also pay it forward. I firmly believe kindness can go a long way, not only in changing people's outlook on life, but in making the world that much better of a place in which to live.

Think about it. I bet you there is at least one person that came to mind while you were reading that; at least one person that can brighten your day just by seeing them. At least one person where you can't help but smile when you come in contact with them. Why not tell them? Maybe it's just what they need to hear. And maybe they'll spread the kindess, too :)