Fitness has been a bit on the low end lately. The motivation to go down to the gym is pretty much at zero right now. So, at this point, I'm doing what people tell me to do....I've been going to training, taking extra yoga classes, and climbing stairs with some friends that come over once per week. running? not unless I have to (like after training when I have to run 10 laps in a cold building). Weights? Not nearly as much as I should be doing or have been doing. Like I said, winter sucks. I want it to warm up so I can start running outside. And a little sun in the sky sure would raise some spirits. That's probably why I haven't been blogging as much, either...no motivation...I have had nothing to say.
Weigh-in for January went as well as could be expected. I'm down another 2 pounds, for a total loss of an even 70 pounds since day 1. I've hit that point where it's becoming harder to lose pounds. Since I have less to lose now, it's takes longer and more effort to get the fat off. When I first started, I was hoping to hit my goal weight in one year. Now that I'm working at it and realize the difficulty of losing weight at a steady pace, my new goal is to hit my goal weight in 1.5 to 2 years. Ideally, I would like to hit that point by the time I do a half marathon in October. I think that is realistically attainable. That would give me 8 months to lose 50 - 60 more pounds (OR, to be even more realistic, 8 months to lose 6-8 more inches around my waist. That's my goal).
Everything else is going pretty well. Having finished school in December, I've been picking up some catering gigs and will be starting with my first personal chef client in the next week or two. An awesome tax return I'm expecting will easily get the business license paid for and everything official. So, that's pretty exciting. I've also been able to pick up a few side jobs for the time being.
I finally made the decision to start dating again. I took myself off the market for some time so I could focus on bettering myself and being ok with myself. But I knew, if I keep waiting until I'm completely happy every aspect of my life, I'll be waiting for the rest of my life. But I've hit the point where I feel a WHOLE lot better about myself physically, I'm in a much better place emotionally, and I'm undeniably happy having started a career path that I'm passionate about. I've hit that point where I feel ok to spend time with myself. I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. I knew I didn't want to get someone else involved in the mess of my own life when I wasn't comfortable with it. I didn't want to infect someone else with a toxic lifestyle and a negative mindset. I didn't want to emotionally rely on someone because I wasn't emotionally stable to be by myself. I didn't want to find someone so they could be my "crutch." I didn't want to depend on someone else to make me happy. I didn't want to be in a relationship that was destined for failure. And now that I'm going into this whole dating thing with a new mindset and a renewed sense of self, this experience is going very well! I know now that I deserve better than what I was seeking out before. I know now that I deserve someone who will treat me well. I know now that I deserve respect. I know now that I deserve to be with stability. I think back to the past mistakes I've made in this area of my life and I'm astounded to realize how blind I was....how naive I was....how little respect I had for myself. I'm looking forward to this new chapter and to these new experience now that I have this new sense of self.
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