A Setback

There's a reason I haven't posted in a little while here. I injured myself. Several people (a couple doctor friends and my massage therapist) believe I herniated a disc in my low back. I went to the doctor last week and got an xray. One of my vertebrae is pushed forward about 50% and he also found a fracture in a vertebrae. That's right - I literally broke my back.

The back injury really was bad timing. I had a couple catering gigs that I had to do, while also working a decent amount of hours at the coffee shop as the owner of the shop became a father; I had no time to rest and was is motion all the time. Lifting, twisting, bending. The pain got to the point where it physically hurt to inhale because breathing moved my spine. Also, while all of this was happening, K and I ran a 5k. I regret that 5k most of all. It was a mistake to do with the amount of pain I was experiencing.

So, for 5 weeks, I was not allowed to work out at all. No cardio, no training, not even yoga! While it did allow my back to rest some, I felt TERRIBLE! Going from working out on a regular basis to not being able to, I felt disgusting. I became depressed,  wanted to cry, emotional eating crept back in, and weight has been added on.

The week before last, I worked out for the first time in quite a while, and it felt really good! Well, I take that back. My back didn't feel great, but it felt good to be able to get back in a gym and be somewhat active. This week, I had my first training session back with J. We went very light and J kept asking (again and again and again!) if my back felt ok. And it did feel ok. There were a couple exercises I had to stop because of pain, but most all of what we did went well. I'm glad to get back into training again :)

However, there is now a LOT that I cannot do. I can no longer deadlift, flip tires, do any heavy squatting, Romanian deadlifts, bent over front rows. I can't even run right now! My doctor even recommended I avoid standing for long periods of time, walking long distances,  and even avoid staircases. I feel like everything I love most I can no longer do (until my back heals). Deadlifts are my favorite! I had a goal to pull a truck and that's been put on hold. The half marathon is no longer happening in October.

I go to treatment for my back twice per week now. Still working at the coffee shop and working on building up my chef/catering business (I'm actually waiting for cupcakes to finish baking for a catering job as I type this). When I work, I don't get to rest the back. I don't have a soft seat available and I have to stand for periods at a time. It feels stupid to me to have to wait for the elevator in my apartment building when it's faster to walk down/up one flight of stairs to get outside. I walked the 1.5 miles to work yesterday and was in a lot of pain by the time I arrived. I feel physically handicapped and it drives me nuts. But I keep reminding myself to be patient, continue treatment, and keep it easy at the gym so I don't do more damage or cause serious damage that would require surgery. If only the pain would go away!! But I can only work toward that goal one day at a time.