I believe kindness is a fundamental part of life. I think if you give kindness out, you will receive kindness back. To me, the ability to be kind is all about how you view your life, surroundings, and those around you. Last weeks training session was held at a park near the lake. As we were working out, J points to the Cleveland skyline and says, "If the city looked this nice while I'm walking through it, maybe I would like downtown more." Between heaving breaths while trying to not throw up, I reply, "Maybe if you saw the beauty of the city while walking through it as you do when you see its skyline, you would like it more." He sees Cleveland as "Gotham City" with just square grey buildings and unfriendly people. When I walk through Cleveland, sure there are some boring grey buildings, but the city has so much character. A lot of the buildings have the original architecture and beautiful granite and stone details. There are pillars, statues, bronze adornments and latin phrases etched into the buildings. There are still some Fallout Shelter signs on walls. I find these things beautiful. I love how this city can tell its story by just being. It's been through so much. It has seen its peak, it has seen its lowest point, and it's starting to grow again and thrive again to become great once again. It's more alive than most people realize.
And the people aren't so bad downtown, either. Sure, the outsiders bring their road rage and smug facial expressions, but you can tell who the downtown dwellers really are. Living downtown, you recognize others that you see all the time. After only a year of living downtown, I now can't walk down the street without getting a wave, a smile, or seeing someone that I recognize. It becomes a community. People walk their dogs, play with their kids, hang out with their friends....and it feels close-knit. If I'm hanging out at the coffee shop, people will come up and talk. And we'll have conversations like we've all known each other for years. And it's because kindness comes out in all of us. Receiving a smile or a wave while walking down the street can change a bad mood. It stays with a person more than that smug attitude with the suit that won't get off his cell phone.
There's a homeless man that hangs out on a stoop a block away from my apartment. For weeks he's been hanging out there, now that it's warmer outside. He just sits there with a cup and asks for spare change from passers-by (I have a rule where I will not carry cash or change on my person and I will not give the homeless money. I have run into CVS or a convenience store to get them food before, but I won't give them money). Now, I've seen this man a handful of times before while feeding the homeless with a group that goes to 4 different homeless shelters in the city every single Saturday to hand out food. He's been staying at the big shelter about 10 blocks away. For the past few weeks, every morning when I walk to work, he's either at his stoop or across the street sitting on a bench at the park. Every evening when I walk home from work, he's on his stoop, with his cup, smiling. We've started to recognize each other. The other day, K and I were out power walking and passed by him. He asked for money, but we didn't have any. As we were walking back, we passed by him again. He gave us encouragement for working out. A homeless man, with nothing but the shirt on his back, sitting on a stoop holding a cup with some pocket change had the kindness in his heart to give us encouraging words as we worked out. So, why is it, when we have a roof over our heads, food on the table, a safe place to live, jobs, an income, a mode of transportation, why is it that we can't do that for others? (just stop for a minute and let that perspective sink in)
We waved to each other while I was walking home from work yesterday. I took him a banana this morning. He smiled. I will always remember his smile, so full of genuine kindness and gratitude. I think we're becoming friends.
A few weeks into this journey, K and I were working out in the fitness center of my building. I was new at this whole exercise thing and still didn't really know what I was doing (I still am new and don't really know what I'm doing...but maybe I'll have a grasp for it someday). We went to start a circuit that included a leg machine. As I was setting the machine up, a guy in the fitness center asked if I needed any help, that he uses that machine all the time. K and I said we were good and thanked him for the offer. He then asked if we got a personal trainer because he's noticed us down in the gym for the past few weeks with someone. We said yes, and talked J up (as always) and we started discussing the different circuits J has us doing, having to do the stairwells, and other gym talk. Now, I'll preface this by saying this guy is a gym rat. He's down there almost every time I am. He is there longer than me and does more than I could do. So it really struck me when he told us that we're doing a good job, that J is really working us hard and he wouldn't ever be able to do the stairs that many times. I'm realizing that I'm the judgemental one when I assume I'm getting judged and scoffed at when I walk into a gym, or try to jog outside in public. The kind words that came from gym-guy was something I never would have expected. And I appreciated every word he said. It was the encouragment I needed to get through that especially difficult week.
A few days after the gym-guy incident, there was a girl on the treadmill in the gym at the same time I was. J had just finished up with our session and left while I finished up cardio. K and I were talking about some upcoming workout that we had to do and Treadmill-girl joins into the conversation. She says, "I saw what your trainer was doing to you over there earlier. I could NEVER do what he has you doing!" Please note, she is saying this with complete breath control as she runs at a 7.0 on the treadmill like it's a slow stroll in the park. There I was again, barely able to breathe, holding onto the bars of an elliptical for dear life, just trying to get through 20 minutes of cardio after a 30 minute training session...and I was taken aback by the kindness this stranger on a treadmill was giving. It made me think that maybe I was actually doing a good job and maybe I really should be proud of the work I am doing.
I'm sure gym-guy and treadmill-girl had no idea their kind words would have such an impact on me. I'm sure they didn't think about it in the slightest. But that was the hardest week for me, so far, and they helped me get through it and push on. They kept me on the right path. They kept me going. And their kindness is still contributing to the successes I am continuing to make. They probably never thought I would remember those 30 second exchanging of words would stay with me for so long. And that's just it. You never know who needs encouraging words, a wave on the street, or even just a smile. For all you know, because of your kindness, you could've helped someone get over a hurdle with which they were struggling. There's always that possibility. For me, if there's always the possibility that my kindness could help someone else, I will strive to always be as kind as possible. Sometimes the most unkind people are the ones that need kindness the most.
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