Week 27 Wrap Up and Knowing It's Not Easy

Even though the "big" 6 month mark happened last week, I didn't put up another post because I kind of put it all into one post the week before. When my birthday happened, I didn't have just one cheat meal...I ended up having several cheat DAYS. That really messed me up. On top of that, I didn't workout as much as I should have and ended up taking some extra "rest days." And training didn't happen, as I didn't think about the fact that I set up the session the morning after my evening birthday festivities and was in no shape work get my butt kicked by J that morning.... oops. So, for week 26, I gained 1 pound.

Week 27 just wrapped up and I was able to get back on track. I'm down 2 pounds this week for a total loss so far of 62.6 pounds. I completely forgot to do my 6 month measurements. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

I initially thought I would workout more now that I only have to focus on school and have more free time without a full-time job. But, it's as if the extra downtime just causes more laziness. I'm thinking of making my one rest day on Wednesday now. Currently, I go to yoga Monday evenings and Tuesday afternoons. Tuesday night, I have class and am running around and cooking over a hot stove for 5 hours (no breaks), to then turn around and have to run around and cook over a hot stove for 4 hours on Wednesday mornings for another class. Once I get done with my Wednesday cooking class, I'm exhausted and have no motivation whatsoever to put on my workout clothes and go down to the gym. I'm still trying to figure this new schedule out, I guess.

I've posted before about making changes in your life and doing what you need to do to make yourself happy. After quitting corporate America and enrolling in culinary school to pursue my preferred career (I was allllllmost going to be cheesy and type "pursue my dreams" but I held back...you're welcome haha), I was determined to be happy. I've been unhappy for so long in so many different aspects of my life that I knew I needed to change multiple areas in order to achieve the happiness that I not only wanted, but deserved.

Here's the thing I got wrong, though. It's not going to be easy and it doesn't happen overnight. For some reason, I had this perfect image in my head that I would quit my job, school would be a breeze and I would hone my skills. Once December hits, I would get my personal chef certification, money would magically appear to start the personal chef business and people would come in droves to hire me and I would do what I love and have a career. In my mind, this seemed somewhat logical. Typing it and thinking back on it, it is completely unrealistic. That's not life. Life is about learning lessons and working for what you need, not having everything handed to you on a silver platter.

So, I started going for that image I had pictured. I quit my job in corporate America. The last two days of work, I had panic attacks...full on panic attacks. The week between my last day of work and first day of school, I cried. A lot. Every single day. Stress reared its ugly head. School started and I was surrounded by people who don't know the first thing about cooking in a kitchen. Instead of learning new techniques in my classes, classmates ended up coming up to me asking for help (because they've never seen a leek or parsnip before). What threw me for a loop was the amount of effort it took to cook with 20 other people in a commercial kitchen. I come home from classes exhausted. I forgot what school entailed.....I forgot research papers existed....and homework....and midterms....and projects. Oh, and don't get my started on forgetting the fact that I have bills to pay and no income (I'm still actively looking for a part-time job). These first 6 weeks or so of class have felt like a slap in the face. The wake up call happened. I see clearly again. I see reality.

The reality is, whatever you (and I) need to do and whatever changes you need to make in order to be happy is going to be hard work. It won't be easy. It's not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You can't sit back with some bonbons and watch everything magically and flawlessly come together. There will be sleepless nights. There will be stress. There will be sweat. There will be body aches. There may be tears. There will definitely be things you expected to work out that don't work out.

But the beauty of it all is that, if you have a goal and if you're working hard enough to reach that goal, any sweat and failures and disappointments and stress will be worth it. No one ever says it's an easy coast to reach a goal. It's uphill. It's all uphill. The best part of getting up that hill to reach that goal, though? It's a sweeter success when you reach it and are finally able to taste it. When you hit that goal, the reward will be SO much greater because you know you deserve it. You know you put that hard work into achieving whatever you wanted to achieve and you deserve the end result. Those results will look better, taste sweeter, feel more fulfilling.

Even though anything worth wanting won't come easy, it will be worth it. With every roadblock I encounter and every negative thought that sneaks into my head, I remind myself of this every single day. It will be worth it.