Because of this, I've slacked with the workouts, missed a couple days, didn't put my heart into other days...just went with the routine but did nothing extra. My nutrition has been crap. I wasn't eating, and when I finally would, it was never a nutritionally sound meal. There were a couple weeks where I could count on one hand the number of meals I ate. Breakfast had gone out the window. Because of all of this, I ended up gaining a couple pounds.
Last week, I started to get back on track. I've made an active effort to eat regular meals again (especially breakfast), working on getting motivated again to workout with more vigor and to just try to start caring about my own well-being again. I weighed in yesterday and was able to get back down to where I was in my last post. In fact, I'm down .6 more pounds from that, for a total loss so far of 63.2 pounds.
Training has been off and on lately. I don't blame J...he's a very busy person. But I'm going to have to make some decisions as far as my next step and how to move forward. I don't want to overload anyone, but I also have to consider my needs, as well.
But anyway, I'm currently being punished. J asked for my workout diary and was apparently not very happy with what I've been doing the past couple weeks. So now I have to do an extra 30 minutes of cardio every single day...7 days per week. "No days off" he says.... :(
I hate cardio. With every part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I WANT to like it. I want to be able to think, "boy, I could really go fo a run right now" and just change clothes and run and run and run and clear my mind and just run some more. I really want to have the mindset to be able to do that. I actively try to have that mindset, but I then start to jog and realize just how much I can't stand it. I fear adding this extra cardio every day will just cause more resentment toward it because that's how I'm currently feeling. Hopefully that will change. Shoes will also help. My current running shoes have holes, are broken, my feet hurt in them and cramp up. I'll have to get a new pair ASAP.
Motivation has been my struggle lately. Last week, I had so little motivation to go down to the gym and do weights, I decided to go onto youtube and look up sports motivation videos. Some of them honestly felt a little discouraging while watching them, but some of them helped. There was one that was able to push me enough to get dressed and go workout. I went down and pushed myself harder than I've pushed myself in several weeks. I was dripping sweat. I was doing chest presses with higher reps at a higher weight. And I cried while I lifted. And then I pushed myself harder. I finished the cardio after weights and was exhausted. The following two days, I was sore. It's been a while since I've made myself sore. I'll be sore from training or from a hard yoga class, but I've noticed I haven't been very sore when I workout on my own. If this is the case, then I haven't been pushing myself enough. So that's what I'm focusing on now...pushing myself to what I think my limit is, then pushing myself even further. And you know what? When I think I can't go on any longer and then push myself more, I'm always able to more than I think I can. I hit my mental limit before I hit my physical limit. It's just a matter to pushing past that mental barrier to reach that physical limit.
Check out the video below. It's 15 minutes long, but it's worth it:
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