Week 39 Wrap Up, Cheat Meals, and Resolutions

I hope everyone had a fantastic holiday! My Christmas was good. I cooked all day, then family and some friends came over and ate, played games, and enjoyed each others company. It was a nice time. I was exhausted by the end of the evening, but it was worth it. I made all the dishes for dinner, then everyone else brought desserts. The meal was a great cheat meal, as I used about 3 pounds of butter for the dinner, several cheeses, cream sauces, sugars, etc. But I don't think I did too bad, nutritionally. Everything was made from scratch using whole foods. I actually went down to the gym and had a good cardio session Christmas morning. By the time dinner rolled around, I didn't even finish my plate. I did indulge in some desserts, though. But again, cheat meals are meals you don't have to feel bad about. And I made sure I didn't make it a cheat day. Breakfast was my usual breakfast (two eggs, a slice of gluten free whole grain bread with 1 tbsp of all natural peanut butter, and a cup of green juice).

Below are some pictures of Christmas dinner - (not pictured, I also did a double cranberry sauce made with fresh and dried cranberries, as well as honey spiced almonds) Bake brie with raw honey, served with organic apple slices and whole wheat crackers; prosciutto wrapped melon; sour cream and chive mashed potatoes; brussels sprouts gratin; bacon wrapped turkey; whiskey glazed sweet potatoes; spinach, pear and shaved parmesan salad; fresh italian bread stuffing; and ham with a pomegranate, orange, brown sugar and cinnamon glaze...the ham was purchased from a local organic farm in the area :

Cheat meals can actually be very beneficial things. They should revolve around one major factor, though, and that is the level of the Leptin hormone that your body produces. Leptin is the "anti-starvation" hormone and it helps regulate the amount of body fat that humans carry. The higher the body fat, the higher the Leptin levels in the body (and visa versa...the lesser amount of body fat, the lower the leptin levels). During prolonged periods of dieting, leptin levels decrease...even as much as 50% within the first week of a diet. As the leptin level decreases, so do the levels of Liver Glycogen, which then lowers the levels of other hormones such as testosterone, estrogen, T3 and Growth hormone, and it will also raise Cortisol levels (which is the stress hormone). If leptin levels get too low, a woman could even stop menstruating due to the lack of hormone production. When leptin levels get too low, the body will also not only stop burning fat, but actually start to store fat. So, why are cheat meals and leptin levels so important? If you eat a "cheat meal" that is high in carbohydrates, it helps reverse the process of storing fat by raising leptin levels in the body (this is because the rise in leptin levels have a correlation with the rise of carbs and insulin due to the large feeding). This meal will then get your leptin levels back up high and gets the body to start burning fat again when you go back to a healthier diet. Based on the research I've done, the professionals recommend ONE cheat meal per week for anyone who is restricting calories and trying to lose body fat. But, you have to make sure that one cheat meal doesn't turn into an entire cheat DAY. It's just one meal. Personally, I don't have a weekly cheat meal, but I have upped my cheat meal from every 30 days to one meal every other week (two per month). SCIENCE! :)

I did weigh in on Monday. And the scale finally changed! Before Monday, it was several weeks since I've weighed in. I feel like I've hit the point where I need to stop depending on a number on a scale. When I hit that plateau for two months, my body was still changing even though the scale wasn't moving. But anyway, I am down another 4 pounds for a loss so far of 68 pounds.

With New Years coming up in a few days, I've been asked by several people what my new year resolutions are. I have a few that are business related (by the way, I finished school and ended up getting all As and one B! You may now call me Chef hahaha), but I don't really have any. The few "resolutions" I do have, I have had for the past few months and I've been working on making them reality. Here's my thinking on this whole thing. January 1st is another day. The year may be different, but it's another day, just like today, just like tomorrow, just like every Monday. I started this journey in March. It wasn't even a Monday...it was a Thursday. My day 1 was a Thursday in March. What if those "new years resolutions" meant more to me? Then what....I wait 9 months so I could start this life changing journey on the first day of January? To most people, a Thursday in March is a very unimportant day. To me, it was the first day of the rest of my life. Personally, I don't require a socially memorable day to start something. If you have a big enough desire to do something or change something, then why wait?  You know what tomorrow is? It's Monday. And it's also the first day of the rest of your life. You don't have to wait. If you do, that's your choice, too....maybe that's just the type of person you are. I'm not here to judge. But I think back to 9 months ago and I can't even imagine where I would be right now if I didn't start this journey on that "random" Thursday in March. But I can honestly tell you, I wouldn't be where I am right now and I am SO thankful I didn't wait :)

Week 37 Wrap Up and Doubts

Another week has passed. Life happened and very poor excuses were made this past week. I'm pretty disappointed in myself with a couple days of not working out when I should've. But it's a new week and back to the grind. Just because a few poor days happened doesn't give me a reason to give up. A new day is a new start. So I will keep going and try to work harder to make up for the days I missed. Nutrition has still been good, though. I've been sticking with that, even when I missed a few workouts.

I started working at a restaurant. I was a little nervous to start, but I like it so far. Since I started 2 weeks ago, every day I work doesn't feel like work. I don't leave there exhausted or angry or discontented. This is one of the first times I've felt like that in my working career. The only other time I have felt that way was when I was previously working in the food industry. It makes me feel more confident that the food industry is where I'm supposed to be.

I just finished my last class today, and I'll be honest, I started freaking out a little bit. Classes are done (as long as I pass them....I should be getting my final grades in the next few weeks). With classes done, it means real life is officially starting. The job at the restaurant in which I'm working now will be great experience to get my feet wet. I took this job because the owner of the restaurant is going on vacation in a few months and needs someone to run the restaurant while she's out. It'll be great experience to be able to do this and feel what it's like to actually run an establishment. The opportunity arose and I seized it.

Not too long ago, I found this necklace and ended up having to buy it because I couldn't stop thinking about it, even after I walked away from it. It's a mustard seed that is surrounded by resin. And it's a really great reminder for me. There's a well-known verse that says "even if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, nothing is impossible." (Plus, it's a mustard seed...food related...duh) It's a really great reminder to keep it around my neck. If I have faith, nothing is impossible. During my slight freak out, doubt started to creep into my mind. There are some possibilities that have come up recently that could be an official start to my career. And doubt started. So, I wrote myself a letter (sometimes you just have to write yourself a letter. It's highly therapeutic. I recommend everyone do it sometime). Here it is:

Dear Me,

Life has been changing for you lately. Between starting your journey of weight loss, choosing to follow your passion of cooking and quit your secure job to go back to school, there are a lot of uncertainties you are currently dealing with. You just finished your last class with school, which then starts a whole new chapter in your life. I know you’re starting to freak out a little bit, and while it’s ok to have a little fear of the unknown, do not let it control your. Let that fear push you to do amazing things. You’re capable to do what you want to do and what you’re supposed to do and deep down you know you’re meant to do great things. You are not the norm; you don’t find comfort in complacency. You can’t just sit back in a cubicle and watch the world go by. You know life is meant to be lived to its fullest. So seize any opportunity you have in order to make that happen, no matter how much fear you feel. You know to follow your gut; you know what you’re supposed to do. Because I know this, trust me when I say the following:

Don’t let doubt take over. Doubt has no room is your life anymore. You’ve lived with it before and you’ve seen how it has hindered you. You’ve fought the feelings of doubt in other parts of your life and you’ve seen how it has positively impacted your life. There is no room for “What-ifs.” If one of those “what-ifs” creep deep enough into your thoughts, it will tear down any determination you have. “What if it doesn’t work out?” Well, if it’s not meant to happen through one avenue, it will happen through another avenue. You know what is supposed to happen. You know what you’re meant to do. Pursue it with ZERO doubt. Pursue it with confidence. Pursue it with determination. Pursue it with hope. Don’t allow the doubting “what-ifs” that others may be feeling have any effect on your hope and determination.

You got this, girl! So take a DEEP breath, remind yourself that the hard work to reach success is just beginning, and continue taking those leaps of faith to make your dreams a reality. You don’t always have to take “no” for an answer. And when those hurdles come along (because you know they will), jump those hurdles and keep going. Any roadblocks you hit, don’t be afraid to take a couple turns to get back on track toward your destination. You’re strong enough to do this. You’ve had enough experience in your past to be able to conquer anything. Do all you do with faith and confidence. You can do it. Deep down, I know you can.

Love,

Me

 There's no room for doubts in anyone's life. Don't let the shadow of doubt ever stop you from doing what you have to do in order to be who you're supposed to be.

 

Week 36 Wrap up, Turkey Trot and a Progress Pic

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving! Mine went pretty well. Thanksgiving morning my friend, Mel, and I went to Chagrin Falls and ran the 5k Turkey Trot. This was the first time I've ever participated in a race on Thanksgiving morning, and it was the first time Mel has every participated in a 5k. It was a new experience for both of us. Thanksgiving morning was BITTER cold, in the low 20's! And the snow with the wind just went right into our faces pretty much the entire race. Between not being able to see and the slippery roads (due to the cold), we finished the 5k in 42 minutes. I think I figured out that we ended up doing 13.5 minute miles...not too bad considering the conditions and our lack of experience, but slower than my usual pace. On our drive back from the race, Mel and I both agreed that this has become a tradition. So look out for next year! We'll blow all the other racers out of the water!

Here are a couple pictures from the turkey trot. The pictures on the right are Mel and I staying warm in the car before the trot started, my race bib, and Mel and I at the finish line. Please notice the icicle that is forming off of Mel's eyebrow....icicle...it was cold. The picture on the left is the shirt we received for participating. The size? It's a large.

Why do I mention the size of the above orange shirt? Because, it is the first time since before I was a teenager that I am able to wear a size that does not have an X included in the size. I own one other t-shirt that is a large, and wore it to yoga and training last week. It's really very exciting to think about. As small as an X is on a tag inside a piece of clothing, it feels pretty monumental to be able to wear something that doesn't have an X included in the size. 

Thanksgiving went well. There were no family spats, that I noticed. I think that was the first time in a while we've had a peaceful family get together where everyone got along. I ate myself into a coma and didn't feel bad about it in the slightest. The good thing about holidays with my family is my aunt does Thanksgiving and she's pretty health conscious. So, as an appetizer, she offered hummus with veggies. Our dinner had the usual turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, but she then had baked sweet potatoes instead of the typical casserole with marshmallows. And then I brought roasted brussels sprouts. I took half pieces of pie and ended with a single glass of champagne. Everything in moderation, right? I still was stuffed, but tried to fill my plate with more turkey and brussels sprouts than carbs. Not sure how well I did, but I felt I did better than I would've in the past. Only thing is that I was STARVING by the time I got to my aunts house, after doing the 5k. I had a protein shake on my way home from the turkey trot, but it just wasn't quite enough to satisfy until dinner.

Instead of our traditional family trip to Aurora Farms at midnight, we decided to sleep. My mom and I ended up going to the farms around 11am. It's still pretty much the same deals (as far as what we were looking for), plus we weren't grumpy from lack of sleep and an over stimulation of crowds. This year was extra special, though. Why? Because I was able to go into regular people stores and shop; this was the first year I was not limited to just the stores that offer plus sized clothing. It was a new world! I'm not a big shopper, so I ended up walking away with a pair of jeans, a sweater, and a new pair of running shoes. But that's all I was looking for, so I consider it a success :)

And the jeans? I have officially sized down again. I am now down to a size 16 jeans. It's been 8 months and am down 5 pant sizes. I started this journey at a size 26 pants. I'm not done yet, but it feels like some good progress....even if the scale doesn't reflect all of the progress made. But then again, the scale is just a number. I'm thinking of cutting down my weigh-ins to just once per month, instead of every week. I think that will help me to not rely on that number as much and just focus on how my body feels and the physical changes that are occurring. I need to measure again very soon.

Anyway, below is my newest progress picture. The newest picture are the size 16 jeans I purchased :)

Week 35 Wrap Up and holidays

Something pretty good happened this week. I lost weight. I am down 1.5 pounds this week for a total loss so far of 64 pounds. After 8 weeks of staying at the same weight, this was very exciting to see on the scale! I'm hoping this is the official end to the plateau so I can get back on track.

I did a couple things to push through the plateau. First, I added 30 minutes of cardio every day. That's 3.5 hours of cardio I added for two or three weeks. Nothing happened with that. Then, I didn't workout at all for week (which turned into two after I then got sick). So last week was the first week back to working out. I also upped my calories to add protein. Before, I was staying around 1200-1300 calories per day. I've now upped my calorie intake to 1400-1700 per day and make sure I get at least 100 grams of protein per day. It's been a little difficult to get that much protein without adding a protein shake or anything, but I've been doing it. It involves consuming more chicken and greek yogurt, but it's been happening.

Yesterday during training I did dead lifts for the first time. Those are pretty fun! They're almost as fun as flipping tires.....almost :)

School is just a few weeks from finishing up, but have some mixed feelings about it all. I'm pretty excited to finally be done with school, but that also means I'll be done with school...which means a business needs to get started and money needs to be earned and life needs to finally begin. The thought of all of this is terrifying and exciting and seems very unreal. But I'm really looking forward to starting this new chapter of my life. I'll be honest, there's not a whole lot I feel confident about, but I can honestly tell you that I am not only confident in my cooking ability, but I feel confident that I will be able to run a successful business.

So, I'm really not a fan how Corporate America has abused the Christmas season by manipulating customers into thinking they are in such a need to buy possessions at a discounted price. And, in order to do so they have to stand in line for hours in the cold, cutting their Thanksgiving dinners short (if they even have them at all anymore), trampling other customers just to get in the store entrance, fighting like children to get that last item on the shelf, and waiting in line for hours upon hours as employees then have to work on Thanksgiving day/night. Personally, I refuse to enter a Walmart or Target or Kohls on Black Friday.

My mom, brother and I do go to Aurora Farms at Midnight on Black Friday every year, though. We've been going the past 5 or 6 years now. We never buy much, we don't stand in lines. I go because I like to people watch. I find it really interesting that there's a line out the Coach outlet store that goes around the entire outlet center so people can get the same sale they offer on Memorial Day (and you can just walk into the store and not wait in any line whatsoever on Memorial Day weekend). Whatever store I do go into, I make an effort to be extra nice to the employees, as they probably get yelled at some point throughout the evening and weekend. This year, however, I have a plan to purchase something. I need a new pair of running shoes...desperately. My current pair are so broken, my feet are constantly cramping up and it's to the point that it affects my workouts and cardio. Not to mention, I've put a hole in one of my shoes already and there's another hole starting in the other one. Aurora Farms has Nike, Adidas, and Under Armour stores there. And I am broke. I am a broke college student. So this year I will be willing to stand in a line to get a decent pair of shoes at a discounted price. It's a week away and I'm already mentally preparing myself haha

This year, I am more thankful than usual. I am thankful I have the support of my family and friends to pursue my passion. I am thankful to have had the opportunity to save my life and make myself healthy. I am thankful for the new relationships in my life that have helped make me a better person. I am thankful for the challenges that have come along the way that have also helped in making me a better person. I am thankful for the struggles. I am thankful for the good times. I am thankful for the encouragement. I am thankful for the warm hearts. I am thankful to be where I am. I am thankful that I am not where I used to be. I am thankful to be alive.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving! Stay safe, enjoy time with friends and family, and stay thankful.

Week 34 Wrap Up and Lifestyle vs Diets

The week off of working out that I was supposed to take turned into a solid two weeks off. The first week I took off was to see if that would confuse my body enough to be able to break through the plateau that's been happening for over 6 weeks now. The second week, I got sick and had a sinus infection that knocked me down...hard. Life also took over with co-hosting and catering an event over the weekend, as well as the ultimate excitement of being maid of honor in my best friends wedding (I think I cried more than the bride did during the ceremony haha).

Yesterday basically turned into Day 1 again. I went to yoga and had a double training session with J. I REALLY noticed the difference yesterday, after not working out for two weeks. The jogging warmup labored breathing more than it used to. I felt much tighter in yoga. And training kind of beat me down a bit....breathing was definitely labored more than it has been in past sessions. I also felt just plain gross during the two weeks where I didn't workout. There's a big difference between working out and not working out. My back bothered me more than it used to. I felt like I had less energy. Lethargy kicked in. I'm very glad to be back :)

I weighed in today and I'm sitting at the bottom of my plateau weight (I keep going up and down 3 pounds). By next week, I am really hoping the weigh-in will go well and I'll see that number that I've been looking for for over 6 weeks now.

During my plateau, I began to feel a little discouraged. I tried so hard to push past the plateau and nothing was working. I said this to J and he gave this response, "training is life long. Having a rocky month will just be a blip on the radar in a few months and you'll be right back to kicking ass and flipping tires." (I like flipping tires! AND kicking ass!!) That was something I needed to hear. It put it all into perspective. It gave me more hope that I will break through the plateau and get back to a moving scale and more weight loss.

This journey that I'm on is my life. This isn't something that is ever going to end. When I hit my goal weight, I'm not going to stop the healthy eating and exercise. I'm not going to stop everything and expect myself to stay as strong as I will be by then, and keep the endurance I will have, and stay the same size and same weight. It doesn't work like that. This isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle.

I see all these diet pill ads on tv and magazines, and see ads for different diet food plans and it's a little saddening. Diets don't work. No one can radically change their eating for a predetermined amount of time, lose the amount of weight they want, then stop and go back to their old habits and STILL keep that number on the scale. And then people wonder why their weight yo-yo's. Their weight yo-yo's because their diets yo-yo. It's no wonder why more than 80% regain all of the lost weight, or more, after two years. 

Some even take an even more drastic step and have gastric bypass surgery in order to lose weight. But 30% of those who go under the knife and have gastric bypass surgery end up gaining any lost weight back. I know of people where that has happened. Their stomachs are the size of a thumb now, how could someone gain weight after bypass, you may ask? Because they eat like crap. Sure, the weight will come off at first. But no matter what size your stomach is cut down to, if you fill that stomach with processed food, chemicals, and unhealthy options, it'll catch up.

Healthy isn't a diet, it's a lifestyle. Healthy also isn't JUST nutrition or JUST working out...it's BOTH. If you eat like crap but exercise regularly, you're not going to have the strength and endurance you should have during your workouts. If your nutrition is great but you don't workout, you won't hit your peak and will never be at your best.

"You mean, I can't sprinkle some magic 'weight loss' powder onto my Big Mac and large fry, sit on my butt, and expect to lose 10 pounds by next week?"
NO. Sure, that extra fiber you're sprinkling on should ideally make you feel fuller faster, thus eating less. But, it's not a significant enough of a difference and if you end up losing something, it's generally just water weight. Not to mention, if you then don't workout at all, you'll be just as out of breath walking up those two flights of stairs as you were before.

Food shouldn't be something that can be manipulated to fit your immediate physical/bodily wants. Food is fuel. Your body needs food to sustain. Your body needs food to live. Your body needs the proper food to perform at its peak and keep you as healthy as possible. Cheetos are not fuel. French fries are not fuel. Even if you're only eating a specific amount of calories, but those calories are filled with fast food and processed chemical crap, you may lose some weight at first, but your body will keep screaming at your until it receives the nutrients it NEEDS. The same goes for exercise.

Life happens, but you don't have to let it knock you down. What do they say again? A 1 hour workout is only 4% of your day. Choosing grilled chicken over fried is not that hard of a decision to make. It's all about whether you choose to make it a priority in your life. Do you want to live your life to the fullest because of a healthy LIFESTYLE you chose? Or do you want to try and cheap out, yo-yo diet for the rest of your life and wonder why you're not getting the results you think you want? It's your life, it's your choice.

I'm choosing to take care of myself and take care of my life so I can be as healthy as can be to take care and help others. If there's one thing I've learned along this journey, it's that I'm worth a healthy lifestyle. I'm worth living a healthy and productive life filled with longevity. I am worth health. I am worth happiness. Are you?

Week 32 Wrap Up and a Plateau

I haven't had much to post about, so I haven't been posting weekly. Sorry about that. Not too much has been going on. I've hit that dreaded plateau. Everyone does, apparently, and I'm a little surprised it took about 7 months for it to happen.

The scale hasn't moved in about 5 weeks now...a couple pounds up and down, but still staying around  the same number. Two weeks ago, J had me add 3.5 hours of cardio per week to my current workout plan. You would expect that to start the weight loss back up, but it didn't. At all. So, during training Monday we discussed several different options that I could try to jump start the loss again. Our conclusion? Take a week off. Just take a week off of working out. Not work out for a week. So, that's what I started yesterday and it's what I will be doing for the next week...nothing.

I feel guilty already haha :) I didn't go to yoga yesterday, didn't go to yoga today and I kind of miss it. It feels like I'm doing something wrong or playing hooky or something. If going from not working out at all to working out normally again doesn't work, I don't know what else to try. Maybe eating more? I can't exactly eat less. I'm currently consuming between 1300 and 1400 calories per day...I could bump it down to a strict 1200 per day, but that's the lowest a woman should go and I don't want to do that.

Nutrition has been back to normal, so that hasn't been an issue for the past 4 weeks or so. I did run out of my Raspberry Keytones for a couple weeks, but have been back on those for 2 weeks now. I feel at a loss at this point. So, I'm really REALLY hoping not working out this week will do it.

Even though the scale hasn't moved in over a month, my body is still changing and I have to keep reminding myself of that. In the past month, I'm down another pant size and my clothes feel different. So, it's not like I've stalled in every area; my body is still changing and reshaping itself. There's that, I guess.

School is more than half over. I'm getting pretty tired of it, honestly. December cannot come soon enough. It feels more like a nuisance than a learning experience. But it's all for the best and it's all a stepping stone to the next phase of my life. Everything just feels on hold right now....between the weight loss plateau and school...SOMETHING HAS GOT TO GIVE!

So, I will just keep going. I won't give up. Things will start changing again. Things will start progressing again. I just have to be patient and not give up. There's no quitting here. Not now. Not ever.

Week 30 Wrap Up and a Motivational Video that everyone should watch

I know. I haven't posted in a couple weeks. It's been a rough couple of weeks. A number of posts back, I wrote about depression. A new wave hit and was crippling to the point where it has taken every ounce of energy just to get out of bed for the day. The past few days I have literally woken up crying and haven't stopped for the rest of the day. It's been a difficult funk.

Because of this, I've slacked with the workouts, missed a couple days, didn't put my heart into other days...just went with the routine but did nothing extra. My nutrition has been crap. I wasn't eating, and when I finally would, it was never a nutritionally sound meal. There were a couple weeks where I could count on one hand the number of meals I ate. Breakfast had gone out the window. Because of all of this, I ended up gaining a couple pounds.

Last week, I started to get back on track. I've made an active effort to eat regular meals again (especially breakfast), working on getting motivated again to workout with more vigor and to just try to start caring about my own well-being again. I weighed in yesterday and was able to get back down to where I was in my last post. In fact, I'm down .6 more pounds from that, for a total loss so far of 63.2 pounds.

Training has been off and on lately. I don't blame J...he's a very busy person. But I'm going to have to make some decisions as far as my next step and how to move forward. I don't want to overload anyone, but I also have to consider my needs, as well.

But anyway, I'm currently being punished. J asked for my workout diary and was apparently not very happy with what I've been doing the past couple weeks. So now I have to do an extra 30 minutes of cardio every single day...7 days per week. "No days off" he says....  :(
I hate cardio. With every part of my being. Don't get me wrong. I WANT to like it. I want to be able to think, "boy, I could really go fo a run right now" and just change clothes and run and run and run and clear my mind and just run some more. I really want to have the mindset to be able to do that. I actively try to have that mindset, but I then start to jog and realize just how much I can't stand it. I fear adding this extra cardio every day will just cause more resentment toward it because that's how I'm currently feeling. Hopefully that will change. Shoes will also help. My current running shoes have holes, are broken, my feet hurt in them and cramp up. I'll have to get a new pair ASAP.

Motivation has been my struggle lately. Last week, I had so little motivation to go down to the gym and do weights, I decided to go onto youtube and look up sports motivation videos. Some of them honestly felt a little discouraging while watching them, but some of them helped. There was one that was able to push me enough to get dressed and go workout. I went down and pushed myself harder than I've pushed myself in several weeks. I was dripping sweat. I was doing chest presses with higher reps at a higher weight. And I cried while I lifted. And then I pushed myself harder. I finished the cardio after weights and was exhausted. The following two days, I was sore. It's been a while since I've made myself sore. I'll be sore from training or from a hard yoga class, but I've noticed I haven't been very sore when I workout on my own. If this is the case, then I haven't been pushing myself enough. So that's what I'm focusing on now...pushing myself to what I think my limit is, then pushing myself even further. And you know what? When I think I can't go on any longer and then push myself more, I'm always able to more than I think I can. I hit my mental limit before I hit my physical limit. It's just a matter to pushing past that mental barrier to reach that physical limit.

Check out the video below. It's 15 minutes long, but it's worth it:

Week 27 Wrap Up and Knowing It's Not Easy

Even though the "big" 6 month mark happened last week, I didn't put up another post because I kind of put it all into one post the week before. When my birthday happened, I didn't have just one cheat meal...I ended up having several cheat DAYS. That really messed me up. On top of that, I didn't workout as much as I should have and ended up taking some extra "rest days." And training didn't happen, as I didn't think about the fact that I set up the session the morning after my evening birthday festivities and was in no shape work get my butt kicked by J that morning.... oops. So, for week 26, I gained 1 pound.

Week 27 just wrapped up and I was able to get back on track. I'm down 2 pounds this week for a total loss so far of 62.6 pounds. I completely forgot to do my 6 month measurements. Maybe I'll do that tonight.

I initially thought I would workout more now that I only have to focus on school and have more free time without a full-time job. But, it's as if the extra downtime just causes more laziness. I'm thinking of making my one rest day on Wednesday now. Currently, I go to yoga Monday evenings and Tuesday afternoons. Tuesday night, I have class and am running around and cooking over a hot stove for 5 hours (no breaks), to then turn around and have to run around and cook over a hot stove for 4 hours on Wednesday mornings for another class. Once I get done with my Wednesday cooking class, I'm exhausted and have no motivation whatsoever to put on my workout clothes and go down to the gym. I'm still trying to figure this new schedule out, I guess.

I've posted before about making changes in your life and doing what you need to do to make yourself happy. After quitting corporate America and enrolling in culinary school to pursue my preferred career (I was allllllmost going to be cheesy and type "pursue my dreams" but I held back...you're welcome haha), I was determined to be happy. I've been unhappy for so long in so many different aspects of my life that I knew I needed to change multiple areas in order to achieve the happiness that I not only wanted, but deserved.

Here's the thing I got wrong, though. It's not going to be easy and it doesn't happen overnight. For some reason, I had this perfect image in my head that I would quit my job, school would be a breeze and I would hone my skills. Once December hits, I would get my personal chef certification, money would magically appear to start the personal chef business and people would come in droves to hire me and I would do what I love and have a career. In my mind, this seemed somewhat logical. Typing it and thinking back on it, it is completely unrealistic. That's not life. Life is about learning lessons and working for what you need, not having everything handed to you on a silver platter.

So, I started going for that image I had pictured. I quit my job in corporate America. The last two days of work, I had panic attacks...full on panic attacks. The week between my last day of work and first day of school, I cried. A lot. Every single day. Stress reared its ugly head. School started and I was surrounded by people who don't know the first thing about cooking in a kitchen. Instead of learning new techniques in my classes, classmates ended up coming up to me asking for help (because they've never seen a leek or parsnip before). What threw me for a loop was the amount of effort it took to cook with 20 other people in a commercial kitchen. I come home from classes exhausted. I forgot what school entailed.....I forgot research papers existed....and homework....and midterms....and projects. Oh, and don't get my started on forgetting the fact that I have bills to pay and no income (I'm still actively looking for a part-time job). These first 6 weeks or so of class have felt like a slap in the face. The wake up call happened. I see clearly again. I see reality.

The reality is, whatever you (and I) need to do and whatever changes you need to make in order to be happy is going to be hard work. It won't be easy. It's not going to be handed to you on a silver platter. You can't sit back with some bonbons and watch everything magically and flawlessly come together. There will be sleepless nights. There will be stress. There will be sweat. There will be body aches. There may be tears. There will definitely be things you expected to work out that don't work out.

But the beauty of it all is that, if you have a goal and if you're working hard enough to reach that goal, any sweat and failures and disappointments and stress will be worth it. No one ever says it's an easy coast to reach a goal. It's uphill. It's all uphill. The best part of getting up that hill to reach that goal, though? It's a sweeter success when you reach it and are finally able to taste it. When you hit that goal, the reward will be SO much greater because you know you deserve it. You know you put that hard work into achieving whatever you wanted to achieve and you deserve the end result. Those results will look better, taste sweeter, feel more fulfilling.

Even though anything worth wanting won't come easy, it will be worth it. With every roadblock I encounter and every negative thought that sneaks into my head, I remind myself of this every single day. It will be worth it.

A Late Week 25 Wrap Up, 6 months, and a Progress Picture

I like to set small goals for myself. It becomes an easier pill to swallow when I only have to focus on trying to lose 2-3 pounds per week, rather than 100+ pounds total. That total number could easily become way too overwhelming to handle, causing reason to quit. So, I like to break the large goal down into smaller and more manageable goals. I set a small goal for myself about a month ago. I wanted to hit the 60 pound loss mark by my birthday. Well, my birthday happened this past Saturday. Weigh in happened last week and I hit that goal. I was down another 2.8 pounds, for a total loss so far of 61.4 pounds. I feel kind of proud of that. I know I still have quite a ways to go....60 pounds wasn't an easy amount to lose so far, but now I think back to 6 months ago and can't imagine how I lived life 60 pounds heavier. And I know once I hit my goal weight, I'll think back to my current weight and wonder how I lived life now.

My life has been filled with many changes recently. Between quitting my job, going back to school, etc., it's almost every aspect is changing. I'm still looking for a part time job to cover my bills while in school. This down time can feel a bit unnerving at times, I'll be honest. But here's the thing. We are all so consumed with doing every single thing right now. It's ingrained in our minds that if we aren't doing something productive every second of the day then we're not doing enough.

There's a coffee shop in the lobby of my building. Over the past year and a half of living here, I have gotten to know the owner of the coffee shop pretty well. We've become friends. For over a year now, I cook him lunch and then I receive coffee in return (it's a pretty sweet deal since he seriously has THE BEST coffee in all of Cleveland...the shop was voted best cafe downtown). Since becoming a student again, I spend some of my free time down at the coffee shop. It's a small place, no tables or anything...one chair. While sitting in that one chair, I watch and interact with the customers that flow throughout the day. Their lives are so filled with....stuff. Just stuff. Nothing of real significant importance. But here's the beauty of the coffee shop. These people run into the building to the shop, order their beverage, and then stop. For those 3 minutes it takes to make their large white mocha latte, they stop their day. And they breathe. And they have a pleasant conversation.

I can't tell you how many people have stepped up to the counter and just take a breath. It looks like it's the first breath they've taken for the day. And it make me think...why do I feel restless for not having a job right now and for "only" going back to school. This is the time where I need to take advantage of the downtime. This is the time to stop and breathe. There's an opportunity here that needs to be seized. An opportunity to stop. An opportunity to meet new friends. An opportunity to breathe.

So, while I still look for that part-time job, I will seize this opportunity.


But anyway, here's my 6 month comparison picture :)

Week 24 wrap up and Runways

Week 24 is wrapping up. In two weeks, it will be the 6 month mark. Hard to believe! It makes me feel like I should buy J a gift for having to put up with me for 6 months haha...and the fact that it has only just begun :)

Weigh in went pretty ok this week. I'm down 3.6 pounds, for a total loss so far of 58.6 pounds. It's coming along...

You know what I'm finding difficult? Getting back into the swing of college life. My body is still programmed to wake up at 6:30 for work. I almost forgot what it's like to do homework. I absolutely forgot what it's like to sit in a lecture for 4 hours. I haven't owned a backpack to hold textbooks since middle school. They say it's like riding a bike...I hope I can remember how to pedal and stay balanced on those two wheels soon, because right now I keep falling and my knees are scraped up enough.

One bad habit I have fallen back into is not eating. When I don't have the regimented lunch break like I did at work, I forget to eat. This week, I ate dinner on Monday night. The next time I ate, I had a half of a PBJ in the car Wednesday afternoon. I literally forgot to eat for more than a day. The lack of routine/schedule is having its toll already. I'm not quite sure how to fix it, either. I tried to set an alarm....didn't work. Hopefully I can figure it out.

The problem I have with this is that, aside from the fact that weakness will set in when trying to workout, my body will start to go into "starvation mode" and will then store the fat/calories that is consumed when I finally do eat....thus causing weight gain. It's an overall bad situation. So, if anyone has any ideas how to get out of this rut, please let me know (and I swear, if anyone says, "just eat" I'm gonna....I don't know, but I'll do something! haha)

In my personal chef class at school, a video was shown by my instructor at the beginning of class. The speaker is a master chef and one of the best chefs in the country, but he doesn't talk about cooking...I promise. During his Ted talk, he talks about "running out of runway." It's all about doing what you need to do to be happy before it's too late. I found it very interesting and he makes very good points. He says a lot of things that a lot of people already know but often need to be reminded of.

As I was sitting in a teaching kitchen and watching this video in a class I'm taking while in culinary school, it reassured me that I made the right choice. I'm doing what I need to do to be happy. This is the right path. While I have days where I wake up and think "what did I get myself into,"  I know it's all for the better and it'll turn out. It's what's supposed to happen right now. When I picked up my chefs coat and put it on for the first time this week, it felt good. It felt real. It felt right. Sure, it's extremely unflattering for the figure (add the black and white checkered pants to it and it REALLY doesn't do the body any favors), but it made everything feel official...it's all going to happen. And that makes me smile.

I wish everyone had the ability to do what they love to do. Where they don't have a job, but instead have a career. Where they are excited to go to work. Where what they do for a living doesn't feel like work. Where they come home for the day and feel like they accomplished something. Where they find meaning with their life. Where they're happy.

Please, check out chef Richard Rosendale's Ted talk below :)

Week 23 wrap up

While they are late, day 150 measurements happened this week. In the past month, I lost 7.25 inches around my body (I measure each bicep, waist, hips and each thigh). That makes a total inch loss so far of 29.75 inches around my body. It feels nice to be able to have physical numbers change.

Weigh-in: I didn't weigh in this week. Sickness struck and I've been in bed this week, except for classes and training (which I shouldn't have done...live and learn). I feel pretty disgusting and swollen so I don't think a weigh in would be accurate anyway. I'll weigh in next week.

I was supposed to go to a hot yoga class on Thursday. That didn't happen, due to illness. A friend and I are planning on going to another one next week, though. I'm interested in experiencing it. Honestly, doing yoga in a 90 degree room doesn't sound very fun. But I won't judge until I try it. For all I know, it may feel amazing :) we will see.

I hate medication. I don't like putting chemical prescriptions in my body and I avoid the doctor as much as possible. I met a new doctor friend last week. When I got sick, she told me what to do to help cure the sickness...with an old remedy. One chopped onion, 4 tbsp raw honey and the juice of 1-2 lemons. Mix it all together and let it sit in the fridge for a few hours. Then, every half hour or hour, take 1 teaspoon of the juice. It doesn't taste all the great, but the difference in the way I feel between yesterday and today is measurable. The different all-natural ingredients each have a benefit to the body to help flush and detox the impurities out of the body to help regain health. Again, I won't get into my opinions on medications and the healthcare industry here (maybe I will someday). So that's all I will say about that. 

Classes started this week. They're all pretty basic, but I'm excited to take them. The personal chef class will be really helpful for this new career, I think. By the end of the semester, I will have a completed business plan. And the cooking class will help to hone my skills in the kitchen. I learned my fellow classmates are a little more basic (it makes me feel like I have a big ego or talk a big game by saying that, but I'm not sure how else to put it). But it got to the point where the instructor just started to ask me what each tool and herb was...since apparently no one else in the class knew what an offset spatula was or knew that chervil is an herb. I just have to remind myself that I am not above the class. Perfecting the basics is the key to being a good chef. I'm excited to see how much progress I will make by December :)

Week 22 Wrap Up

Training has been moved to today, instead of tomorrow, so I decided to just weigh in today. I was able to get back on track from last weeks gain and am down 3.6 pounds for a total loss so far of a 55 pounds even.

Today is day 153, which means the 5 month mark just passed. I'll have to measure again to see how much inch loss there is. As of last month, I have lost almost 23 inches around my body. So, we will see :)

After the big fail of not working out, not food logging, and gaining last week, I was able to pull myself together and get back on track....kind of. The working out I got back on track. I realized I wasn't as good with the food journaling because I don't like the new journal I had to get after the other journal ran out. So I've been using a phone app to log my food for the time being until I get another food journal to write in that I will actually enjoy writing in. I know, it sounds petty. But I like a good journal and sometimes something sub par just won't cut it!

I am officially unemployed and now a culinary student. My last day of work was this past Friday and my co-workers gave an unforgettable send off :) the amount of support I felt was absolutely incredible and I really can't thank them enough. Orientation happened on Monday and classes start next week. I will have to get all the kitchen garb I didn't think about...the chefs jacket, checkered pants, hat, shoes, and knife kit. It feels all professional. Also, at the last minute, I was able to get into the final classes I needed in which I was waitlisted. So, I will be able to get my certification in December, rather than having to wait until spring. So, that's wonderful. By December, I will then have 3 different food-related certifications and will hopefully be on my way to getting the business rolling :)

I really have nothing more to say. My mind has been filled with getting ready for school and finding new part-time employment, so I haven't felt very existential this week haha

And if you know of any place hiring part-time in the downtown Cleveland area, let me know :)

Week 21 and Reasons

I was not very good this last week. We all have our moments, though. The lack of logging in my food journal continued. And, between Wednesday and Sunday, I didn't workout at all. It's funny, I really feel it now when I don't work out. By Sunday, I felt like crap. But the baking is done for the fundraiser now and I had training on Sunday, got back into my workout routine with yoga (then had to take a rest day yesterday due to a severe allergy attack), and will be training again today. I feel pretty sore...could it be because I didn't do anything for several days? Either that or J just really kicked butt on Sunday and the yoga classes added to it. Either way, I'm ok with it. The soreness feels good. It feels like I'm making progress. Oh, side note: last day of work is tomorrow :) then let the much anticipated schooling begin!

Weigh in: well, it had to happen at some point, I guess. I suppose I'm glad it took 21 weeks. I gained this week. Up 1.8 pounds. I'm pretty disappointed, but I put it on myself. It just goes to show me how important working out and food journaling is. I'll start logging my food again today and training is tonight. Gotta get back on track!!

When people find out I am on this new journey, I get asked many questions. The most asked question I get, though, is "what made you decide to start?"

My first instinct is to answer with a smart aleck response of "well, don't you see how fat I am?!" but I try to refrain from that and answer with a more poised response. However, I never really know how to answer that question.

For me, the trouble with answering this question is that there was no real defining moment. I didn't go to the doctor and get diagnosed with some obesity-related disease. I don't have weight related health problems. I didn't have someone telling me, "you need to fix ___ by exercising." I never experienced physical joint pain. I wasn't on the verge of doing something drastically self-inflicting. 

So, what made me decide to start this journey? I woke up one day and was tired of just surviving. I hadn't actually lived in years (if ever). I was tired of waking up every morning and dreading the day. I never wanted to reflect on my day or life because I didn't want to have to relive the darkness I was experiencing.  There was no monumental moment in my life that caused my decision. There's nothing I can really pinpoint that pushed me over the edge. I guess it was a bunch of little reasons that snowballed. I just woke up one day and was tired of surviving. I just wanted to live. That's all.

Who would've thought that would be enough motivation to keep me going. I have wanted to quit this journey many times, I'll be honest. I wanted to give up. I wanted to just stop SO many times in these past 4 or so months. But every time I want to give up, I think back to my days of survival and think, "I can either keep pushing myself or I can go back to that dark hole in which I was living before." I also think back to the third week of training. I paid J for more sessions and said, "Since I kind of want to quit right now, I figured I would pay for more sessions instead." His response? "there is no quitting."  And, while I haven't been perfect, I've been moving forward and trying my best (minus last week). This past week wasn't great, but that's the beauty of being human, I guess. We all will mess up at some point. But, just because this past week wasn't a good week, it doesn't mean I'm going to just give up and backtrack even more. It makes me want to work harder today and next week and the week after that.

So, back to the topic, there never was a real defining moment, but there were opportunities available that I felt I needed to take advantage of. And I can honestly tell you seizing those opportunities was the best choice I could have ever made. I regret nothing, will never regret anything, and will keep pushing myself to be better and work harder. Those moments of wanting to quit will come again, I know. But they also go away and the motivation to keep pushing myself forward will never cease. 

I started this so I can live, not just survive.

Week 20 Wrap Up and Smiles

It's hard to believe Week 20 has just finished up. No longer in the teens...6 months will come before I know it! Sometimes it feels like this journey just started a week ago, and other times it feels like its been a year already. I've been really terrible the past week with my food journal. I'm still eating the same way, I just haven't really written anything down or figured out calories (but it's all pretty similar foods, so I'm really not worried that I would be exceeding my calorie limit or anything). But writing down what I eat has honestly been the last thing on my mind this week. My replacement at work started on Monday, so I've been focused on training her during the day. Some friends started a non-profit organization and are having their first fundraiser on Saturday, to which I am doing all of the desserts for the event...so along with focusing on training the new girl during the day, my evenings have been filled with getting dinner cooked, working out, then baking....and more baking...and then some more baking. And then figuring out why the cookies didn't turn out the way they should have...then having to fix the recipe and bake some more. As much as I enjoy this, I know I will enjoy it a WHOLE lot more when I don't have a full time job to worry about. This eye twitch that I've had since last Thursday feels explainable now (add on the fact that the college is charging me double the amount of tuition they should, so I will have to leave work early one day next week to go down to the main campus and fix whatever is happening there, in order to pay my tuition by the end of next week). I'm really ready for 5:00pm on August 16th. When that clock strikes 5, my life will change forever...and for the better. I can't wait!

Anyway, weigh in: down 1.6 pounds this week, for a total loss so far of 53.2 pounds. With the tire flipping, we learned my quads are not as strong as they should be, so weight days have been focused on that this week. So, between really working the legs and yoga, I am S-O-R-E this week. I ended up taking an extra rest day yesterday because my legs just physically didn't want to move voluntarily and I felt exhausted.

*** *** *** *** ***

I saw a friend this week who said one of the nicest things someone has ever said to me before. It was one of those things where you go on your way and it just stays in the forefront of your mind and you end up reflecting on it for the next several days. I was with my brother and mom, about to go to lunch, when my friend comes up to me and says, "I just wanted to tell you that it makes me happy every time I see you. You just make me smile."

While my mom, brother and I were at lunch, there was a lull in conversation. My brother then said, "you know who makes me happy every time I see them?" and named someone. My mom then named someone that made her happy every time she is in contact with them. We created a list of people that made us smile by just seeing them. And that got me thinking, why? Why do certain people do that to us? Why are there certain people where, when we see them across the room, they make us smile and give us immediate joy just by being in their presence? And what is it about them that makes us feel this way?

Off the top of my head, I can think of 5 or 6 people that have this effect on me. They're all very different people with very different personalities, interests and mannerisms. I can't really think of any defining quality that they share that could be the tie as to why they make me smile when they walk in a room. But they're all special to me and they all make me feel the same way :)

Hearing those genuine and kind words come from my friend meant the absolute world to me. It made me happy that I can make her happy. And it makes me want to make others happy, too. So, I think that will be my "challenge" for this week. I think I'm going to tell those who make me smile...just that. I want to pay the happiness and kindness forward in hopes others will also pay it forward. I firmly believe kindness can go a long way, not only in changing people's outlook on life, but in making the world that much better of a place in which to live.

Think about it. I bet you there is at least one person that came to mind while you were reading that; at least one person that can brighten your day just by seeing them. At least one person where you can't help but smile when you come in contact with them. Why not tell them? Maybe it's just what they need to hear. And maybe they'll spread the kindess, too :)

Week 19 and Accomplishing Goals

Well....Put-in-Bay happened. I didn't do nearly as well as I thought I would have. But, it happened. And honestly, I don't really feel bad about it. I truly relaxed this weekend with no regrets. So, while I didn't make the healthiest choices and indulged in a few cookies and smores, I did watch portion sizes (for the most part). I had every intention of working out, and my friend and I did yoga at about 5:00 in the morning on Friday, but the mornings of the rest of the weekend were too rainy and windy to walk/jog or safely swim. I did get back to normal on Monday and yesterday with yoga again, and back to healthy eating habits again. It was just really nice to get away for a few days and not think about anything or have a care in the world. I really cherished this weekend :)

Weigh-in: I'm doing training today (I'll explain why a couple paragraphs down) so I decided to weigh in today. Honestly, I was really mentally preparing myself for a gain...like, a significant gain after this past weekend. But guess what. Down 1 pound! Hahahaha! I don't really understand why...but I won't question! So, that's a total loss so far of 51.6 pounds :)

On Monday, I had the follow up doctors appointment with that doctor I saw several weeks ago that deals with hormones and "prescribes" all natural supplements instead of medication. She seemed surprised as she read my blood results to me. Good news is I am healthy :) Blood pressure, thyroid, cholesterol, sodium, blood sugar, liver function...it's all good. Everything is within normal range and working the way it should, except one thing. One hormone, Pregnenolone, is low (actually, a lot low. The normal range for this hormone is between 18 and 36, the lowest the test reads is 5 and my level was apparently under 5 because it wasn't able to even be read). Pregnenolone is known as the grandparent precursor to steroid hormones in mammals. It comes from cholesterol in the mitochondria of the adrenal glands and the central nervous system, and the body uses it to produce DHEA, progesterone, testosterone and estrogen. So, if you have a low level of Pregnenolone, it can have an effect on cognitive functioning (poor memory...which would totally explain a lot), how you react to stress, mood patterns, sleep patterns, and could also increase arthritic inflammation...if you have arthritis. I was also reading more about it and found that, if this hormone is taken, it can help in the healing of spinal cord injuries, overcoming chemical dependencies, and treating mental health disorders like phobias and schizophrenia...which I find very interesting that the body can produce something so powerful that is natural, yet society has taught us that we should rely on chemical prescription drugs instead. But I won't get into that right now. So, the doctor advised I take a natural supplement of Pregnenolone. We'll see if my memory improves! It was nice to learn that any standard health issue an obese person could have (high blood pressure, cholesterol issues, diabetic issues, etc) I am clear of. It was a little bit of a stress relief to know my body is functioning well :)


I think I've discussed this before, but I have goals. Like, written down that I carry with me. 50 of them. When first starting training with J, he has everyone fill out a goal sheet....3 physical goals and 3 acheivement goals. I filled that out within a week of starting and then J keeps a copy, a copy stays in my purse, and a copy stays in my house. Later on, he then brought up Jim Rohn, saying we should have a list of 50 goals. Just the 50 that you first think of...not picking and choosing goals, just writing all of them down. It took me a couple weeks to come up with 50, but I got my list. Once that list has been created, then break the goals down to whether you want to acheive them in 1 year, 3 years, 5 years or 10 years and then choose the top 5 goals for each. It was nice to read those goal lists and see where I think I currently am in my life and where I want to see myself 5 and 10 years from now. Most of my goals are travel oriented. I have some physical goals on there, career goals, personal goals, get married and have a baby...you know, the usual. I also had one on there that I've had for almost 10 years now. I will preface this with a story.

My first job was as a receptionist in a fitness center when I was 16. It was a pretty low key job, just sitting at a front desk making sure members swiped their membership cards, doing school work, and cleaning the bathrooms and windows. I ended up getting to know a couple trainers that had clients and classes there. Most of their clients were these big muscled men that looked like they've been working out 6 hours per day, 7 days per week for 25 years and could bench about 700lbs without batting an eye. But one of the trainers would always take his clients outside to the parking lot. In the back corner of the lot, there were several different sizes of tractor tires. And the trainer would have these guys flip the tires across the parking lot. These guys would do it and scream like babies as they flipped the tires. I would always watch in awe, thinking it looked really difficult and awesome all at the same time....wanting to try to flip tractor tires.

Because training last week was moved to Tuesday, I had my session in a different location. And guess what J had....a tractor tire. I don't think I've ever been as excited to work out before! 9 years ago I was just watching these big muscled men flip these tires thinking it would be cool to try one day....then 9 years later I'm flipping them myself :) I was finally able to cross one of the oldest goals off my list last week. And I cried when I drew that line through that phrase on that piece of paper. It sounds stupid, I know, but it happened.

But I will tell you what. That moment of flipping that tire 20-something times was one of the best feelings I have ever felt. I felt empowered. I felt strong. I felt like I could take on the world. I felt like one of those big-muscled guys that I would watch out the fitness center window, screaming like a baby. Except I didn't scream. It felt too good to scream (plus, I didn't find it that heavy, actually. I already asked J if he has a bigger/heavier tractor tire to flip). Is this what self-confidence feels like? Because I've really never felt anything like it before. The next day, I felt great. I had a feel-good soreness going on and that feeling of empowerment just hung on and stayed with me for several days after that training session. It made me want to work harder and lift heavier and push myself even more. It gave me motivation...like I said, I already asked J if he has a heavier tire to flip. The thought of adding weight to barbell back squats sounds exciting to me. This feeling is just so new and strange. But I like it. And I want more of it. So I'm having my training session today instead of tomorrow (maybe tomorrow, too...we'll see) so I can go back to J's and flip tires again....I'm just so excited! And I can't wait until I look on the outside how I feel on the inside. It's just more motivation to work harder and accomplish more :)

Week 18 and Inspiration

Due to some unforeseen circumstances, training with J this week has been switched to today, so I made the executive decision to have my weigh-in today. I may still weigh in on Thursday...we'll see. But I was just too darn impatient and wanted to know if I hit the 50 pound loss mark yet! Well, I am overjoyed to inform you that I have! For the week, I am down 3.2 pounds for a total loss so far of 50.6 pounds! Now, I think I can go to Put-in-bay feeling good and with a feeling of more self-control....I don't want to lose that 50 pound mark and end up gaining next week at weigh-in, after all.

The Senior Olympics were held in Cleveland this year. I forgot they were coming until I went out to dinner this past weekend (celebrating with my day 120 cheat meal) and sat at a community table at a restaurant (by the way, I love the idea of community tables at restaurants. Highly recommended. You get to know your neighbors and enjoy some good conversation). A man was seated next to me at the community table and was wearing a Senior Olympics t-shirt. He was older, in his 60's, and enjoyed conversation with strangers. So, for the rest of dinner (until it rained and we all had to run inside), we talked with this man and listened to his stories. They were incredible stories. He was racing in the senior triathlon this year. The past two senior games he won 2nd and 4th. He says he takes his bike everywhere and has been everywhere. He's hiked up Machu Picchu. He's biked across Ireland, the US, throughout the UK and through Asia. He's been to the other side of the world and back, all either biking or hiking and staying in hostels. And the best part of his stories? He didn't start any of this until he was 40. He said one thing that really struck me, which was, "if there's one thing I regret, it's that I didn't start doing this earlier."

I think Oscar Wilde puts it best when he said, "To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist, that is all." This man is LIVING his life. 40 is technically the start of mid-life. He went half his life working a normal job, having a daily routine and just existing. Then, he started traveling for his job and one time decided to take his bike on his travels, fell in love with biking throughout the different cities and it just grew from there. He found his passion, stuck to it, and didn't let anything stop him. He has arthritis....but says the movement helps with the pain. He does what he loves to do and he does it well. This man is an inspiration.

I don't think I have ever left a dinner with such hope. Hearing about this man's life made me want to LIVE, not just exist. I'll admit, I've had some reservations about quitting my job to go to culinary school and start my own business....but this man took away those reservations I was previously feeling. I absolutely believe he was placed in that chair that was next to me at that table for a reason. It was the confirmation I needed so I could know I am on the right path. The exercise, the nutrition, the new career. It's all happening...and I now feel that this is the right time and it's supposed to be happening. I'm determined to be society's exception, not the rule. I'm determined to not allow anyone or anything stifle my creativity or passions. My passion will grow and I am determined to be great. I will live my life, not just exist. I will enjoy my time, not waste it.

40 years down the road, I will sit at a community table in a restaurant and have conversations about life with random strangers that will inspire them to live life, too.